Silence and Reflection: what’s been going on with me…

Crawfish Madarao view - summer

I haven’t written in months. To be honest, I thought it was longer and I vaguely remember writing what I wrote. It has been a difficult year and I haven’t wanted to write about it and everything not about it seemed wrong. Now things are improving, at least on the surface.

I have an amazing life, amazing family, great job, good friends, and all my needs met materially . I “want” more and I always try to get it, but I have so much.

I March this year I was called home two weeks before my planned visit. My father was in ICU. He passed away 8 days after I arrived. I feel I said “goodbye”, but I never got to speak to him again. My brother asked if I could remember my last conversation. It was good, so I am grateful for that, too, but it was nearly a month before my father died and we rarely went more than a week without speaking even though I live 6000 miles away (perhaps BECAUSE I live 6000 miles away). So that happened.

My mother has cancer (which you know if you read my blog regularly). It proved inoperable, or ridiculously risking with no promise of extended life even if successful. My positive mother quickly adjusted to this fate and the day after she would have had the surgery, my nephew was born and she got to be in the birthing room : a clear sign that this was the right decision.

A few weeks later she joined us in Japan thinking she was healthy and energetic enough to make the trip. She stayed with her granddaughter while I worked and we had nice talks on the weekends. After returning to the US, she had a health scare, but it was not a sign of the end. After that, though, they found her cancer grown and now chemo can also be more poison than elixir and she is off that, too. We all believe in miracles, so there is hope for a long future on earth, but there is no more medical intervention for my mother at this time.

I returned to work since my last post. I really love my job. Probably too much. I mean that I am happy to live at my office and enjoy the days outside of my office… so that I can do work uninterrupted by my colleagues. It is quite strange. This is probably the number one reason you have not seen more entries from me : whenever I sit down at the computer I either source candidates or I zone out with television and something in between like promoting my husband’s B&B or writing in my blog or organizing Fio’s photos for a BDay announcements, seems fruitless – so I work or veg out.

On that note, my daughter turned 1! She is brilliant. She loves to share, especially food that has already been in her mouth. She loves her furry “brother”. She crinkles her nose often and babbles using her tongue. We have heard the words, “Dada, Mom, yada (a definant “no” in Japanese), NOOOO (always elongated with a cute oooh pressing of the lips), and ohayo (good morning in Japanese).” My husband may have more, but these I have heard. I think about her linguistic development often and I bought a DVD for kids to learn the ABCs. We watched it. Did you know that “X” is for “Xmas”? (Pronounced “Christmas”). These kids might be a little messed up…

I’ll write more, but I can’t promise it will be consistent. I have been writing in my head all along so I think I might do a few throwback posts where I just backdate it. I hope you don’t mind.

Thanks for reading. Never hesitate to comment or send me a private message.

…may angel just woke herself up with a fart and now she is climbing on th… wait… no. she just fell asleep again at a different angle. Love kids!

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